underneath the stars
I'm waiting for you to appear.

I will always hold on to the 5 words most important in my life...
I Am What I Am


去爱吧，就像不曾受过伤一样
Go ahead and love, like you have never been hurt
跳舞吧，像没有人会欣赏一样
Go ahead and dance, like nobody will appreciate
唱歌吧，像没有人会聆听一样
Go ahead and sing, like nobody will listen
干活吧，像是不需要金钱一样
Go ahead and work, like you don't need the money
生活吧，就像今天是末日一样
Go ahead and live, like there is no tomorrow...

Name: Rees Sim (R)
Age: 20 years old
Date of Birth: September5 1989
Horoscope Sign: Virgo
Chinese Zodiac Snake
Height 1.70m
Weight 50kg

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4:55 PM

Monday, February 23, 2009

11:59 PM

Saturday, February 21, 2009

1:41 PM

Friday, February 20, 2009

9:26 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2009

2:44 PM

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

10:27 PM

Sunday, February 15, 2009

11:59 PM

Thursday, February 12, 2009

11:46 PM

2:25 AM

U're not suppose to laugh.. the boy will get angry!



LOL!! XD HECK IT MAN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

8:58 PM

Vomited =="

bloody hell...

Monday, February 09, 2009

10:50 PM

I have never been angry with you... so what is there to forgive?

you are still my friend.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

11:39 PM

I didn't want to say anything I shouldn't and a huge part of me would love to keep things hanging. But I suppose you suffer enough from me... and I wish you could find answers here...
(I still don't have my internet.. I am tapping onto other ppl wireless so I could get things cleared. If you are wondering why I have it the other day, I am at sch, in class...)

Me being absence from the internet is like being away from everybody. Kinda scary... but kinda good if I wanted to be left alone. It is somehow a relieve in certain point but no... I would rather have the net.

I miss out a lot... and by that, I mean not knowing a lot of things which could only be access when I have the internet. You blogging about your feelings... about your problems... all of which I could not see. It is just like me... not telling, not saying how I really feel. Maybe I am trying to get ppl to realize what I am feeling themselves, but that is a mistake. Nobody really knows what you are feeling unless you tell them.

The day that I went out with you to watch the movie, I am really happy. Without any things holding me back, without any responsibility. I can talk for as much as I want and you can tell me anything you want. I am just satisfied and glad that day. I appreciate your presents and you walking me back home. The journey is much warmer.

I don't know if I have led you into thinking much deeper, but I am sorry if I am giving off wrong signal to you. I am really glad we are friends...

Until you told me about your god brother... until you try to push further. I am afraid... that's why I move away. At the same time, I try to be normal... like a friend to you.

Then... I got to know that you are not in a good shape that day. But seeing your smses, you are acting to be alright. It makes me wonder... why are you faking it in front of me? When you blog about all those things, knowing that I won't be able to read, you still try to "Hee hee", "haha" in your smses. It makes me feel really bad... On one hand you are suffering, while on the other, you are trying to look as if you are fine in front of me.

Then you blame me... where am I when you needed someone? Or needed me most...?

Maybe I was wrong... when you told me about your parents and I didnt reply. At the point of time, I am already running. Trying to get away from you... so that you could slowly forget me, or get use to me not being there. But I think I succeeded in another thing other than these 2. I've made you hate me.

For the few days which I have been "missing", I did not reply anybody's smses. Not only yours... But I am surprised at the reaction I get... Ppl get worried about me, wonders if I am alright and is afraid that I might do stupid things to harm myself. At least they are concered if I am alive. But what I got from you are angry comments... you scolded me... you reprimended me... you blame me...

I was devastated...

u said I misinterpret things again and thanks for letting you know... what did I let you know? Unless somebody told you things... and we shouldn't talk or wadsoever anymore if you just bring pain to me... did I ever said that? Did I ever blame you for bringing me pain? Did I ever blame you for hurting me? Never did I complain or blame you for anything that happened... If I did, would I cut myself? Why not cut you? Now we can't even be friends. When did I ever said this too? If I don't want to be your friends, I wouldn't even be in contact after the first time we end things. I wouldn't even go out with you ANYMORE. Good luck with whatever shit you're doing. Should I say thanks...?

This is not even bad compared to the next sms you sent me... My heart shattered upon seeing this...

You can't believe I dare to say I loved you before... Where am I when you needed me... You just needed me to appreciate your efforts... But they are all in vain... WTF sia... Even if I cut my WHOLE body, it is still not enough to atone for this pain... You really can't stand ppl like me... Only know how to talk, feel and do things to hurt people who loves me... You don't mind supporting an empty shell.. As long as you can see me everyday... Can I do something to make you happy once? You don't care if I love you or hate you, you don't give a DAMN... After all the stuffs you've done, as a human, can I just treat you nice? Is it too much to ask? Just treat you FUCKING nice or fake a FUCKING smile, you don't care... I just want to feel good... DO SOMETHING!

I don't know why you don't believe that I loved you before... if you are talking about before, there is love and I am sure I did try my best to help you and be there when you needed me. You don't have the right to say I don't loved you before.

I did appreciate your efforts... but I didn't ask for anything that you have done for me. You did those things trying to win me back... but if I don't give a reaction or a sign telling you I will go back to you, you thought those things that you do are in vain and questioned yourself why are you doing those things. I never ever ask anything from you.

You blame me for the pain... but where does this pain comes from? I don't believe its me... when I was depressed and cut myself and bang my head... you saw all that. But did I ever blame you for the pain...? I give myself those thoughts and problems. I can't see the light when things are all in a mess... and when you can't see the light yourself... you blame me for causing you pain...

This is the best part... you really can't stand people like me... I hardly believe my eyes when I saw this... of all these times together. You have been having this thought on your mind. Can't stand people like me... only know how to talk... feel... do things that hurt people who love me... I never do things delibrately to hurt people. I can cut my whole body to hurt myself... but I would never do things to hurt people...

I thought by going out with you, still being part of you life would make you happy enough. But what you do want and expect out of me? And why do you think I am not treating you nice? How nice do you want me to treat you? What else do you want? What is FUCKING nice? And why does it have to be a FUCKING smile? I am smiling when I am out with you. Do you not see it?

You apologize the next morning... telling me all these things have been stucked inside you for a long time... it didnt help at all... one thing... how can you scold me and apologize later? next thing... these have been stucked inside you for a long time? I guess you could have scolded me much earlier so you don't have to torment yourself...

For a long time... it is like telling me you have been hating me for a long time...

There are so many things that I don't understand. But I don't want to be enlighten... I am sorry for what happen in your family and I did my best to help you from the past until now. I have been giving you advice and guidance. But if things doesn't work out, there is nobody to blame.

I have always wanted to treat you like a friend. But for you to keep wanting more and more out of me, it makes me withdraw away from you. You ask why can't we be like other friends that have fun together. But ask yourself... did you treat me like other friends? Just friends that have fun together?

There are so many things that I wanted to say... and these are not all. I don't even know if you care you listen anymore...

I am still your friend if you considered me one. But one must remember that once something is said, nothing else can be said to change the meaning of it or take it back. Those things said will be a scar remained forever.