To my Dearest friend,
I don't know how to help you through this dark time of yours and I even wonder should I offer my help. I don't want things to get any worst and relationships to be even more strained than before. You know however many times you tell me that you won't blame me or think it is my fault for things that happens, I won't accept that. Things start to get worst ever since people start getting to know me. When people move closer, just to help me get better, they themselves got hurt in the process. How can I not feel guilty about it?
If you are not there to help me get through the rough times I had the few days, I would still be that sad and depressing guy you first know. You have no idea how much happiness and comfort you gave me... in fact, I can't lose you as a friend now. But every part of me tells me that I am wrong. No matter how much I said about you being like an angel in my darkest time, you won't think it is anything great. Because this thing that you did is felt wrong by so many people. I don't want any of this to happen... never did I expect these to happen too. I am just so naive and childish to think that at the moment in time, I am the weakest and most vulnerable thus should be concerned and helped. But I guess it is my own selfish act and vulnerabilities that leads to everything that is now.
People are always out to look after me and care for me. In the end, they got themselves hurt and scarred.
I am sorry... everybody.
sorry Nicky...I prayed for you, something which I never did before, to get better and not suffer anymore. I will still be doing this for you every night till you get better...
You are not the one that deserve to be a loner, without friends and given up on relationships...I am...
