Dear Blog,
I cut myself
again... I couldn't take myself anymore. The pain is not sharp... just burning. I love the sight of blood seeping through the small holes where the indent are made. It got me excited and send me laughing. I am sick... I am crazy...
This feeling of agony... it is tormenting. I am tired, too tired to be sane.
I laugh
I cry
I scold myself
I hit myself
I stumble
I scream
and I plead for help...
No, I am not alright. I cannot make myself think the right way anymore. Nothing is optimistic, everything is bad. I am thinking too much, so much that
I can't hear myself...
I can't see the light...
I can't feel myself...
I can't understand the truth...
I can't live...
I vomited yesterday and the feeling was horrible. My whole body was shaking, weak and helpless. Wish someone could give me a hug... but there was no one around.
Everything will come to an end today... and I will live like an empty shell from now. I won't believe in myself anymore... there's no hope...
no hope.
