I will always hold on to the 5 words most important in my life...
I Am What I Am
去爱吧，就像不曾受过伤一样
Go ahead and love, like you have never been hurt
跳舞吧，像没有人会欣赏一样
Go ahead and dance, like nobody will appreciate
唱歌吧，像没有人会聆听一样
Go ahead and sing, like nobody will listen
干活吧，像是不需要金钱一样
Go ahead and work, like you don't need the money
生活吧，就像今天是末日一样
Go ahead and live, like there is no tomorrow...
i dunno wad has gotten over me... i guess... nobody knows... today i nv go to sch... because i was sick... i had a terrible headache... the very least i wish to happen ish that my mum wld ask mii how was i feeling... but... that nv happen... wad i get ish angry comments... accusing mii for staying up late juz to play ard... not slping early so as to get this bloody headache and stay away from sch... i felt sooooo wronged... i felt so hopeless... everything that ever happen was never right... everything to her... was me juz trying to fool ard... everything i do... ish wrong to her... she nv tried to understand wad i was doing... she nv wanted to cared wad i was feeling... nv wanted to say things nice to my ears... i slp till 2... wake up and there i was... like all alone at home when she is ard... showing mii a super black face... like i did hell lots of wrong things... i feel so tired... and so much pain up in the head... and yet she oni think i didnt do my homework so dont dare to go sch... she oni think that i am juz escaping frm sch... thats the way she sees mii... i wonder why... why is it that i am ONI liddat to her? am i realli that useless? why is it that she oni see all these things in mii... why cant i be realli sick and tired... i wont fall sick? i wont be tired? why is it liddat... even the heaven is not hlping mii... no doctor today... no mc... i will be mark absent... fine... i dont care anymore... let things go the way everybody else WANTED... dont have to care abt wad i am thinking... wad i am feeling... wad i am doing... cuz they DONT matter... when i tried to study... mum... keep saying negative comments... i dont wanna talk... i dont wanna say another word... and i realli didnt talk for the whole day... not a single word come out frm my mouth the whole day... i think abt hell lots of things... i even thot of dying... how the world will be like without mii... how she will be like when i was gone...
ytd nite... i dunno wad came over mii... bad things came flowing into my minds... i cried... my tears flow uncontrollably... why? why am i feeling all these... why is it liddat... why do i have so many qns? why cant i get any answers? why do i still have to care abt how other ppl feel? why do i have to live for others...
i lie ard whole day... eyes are wet time to time... but nv did tears flow like ytd... i dunno why... i dont feel alive... i feel dead... like a zombie... like i had alrdy lost my mind... i nv eat anything frm ytd till juz now... all i had was a waffle for dinner and a bread in the morning... i am feeling hungry... but i dun wan to eat... i didnt want to eat... my mum keep asking me to buy something to eat and eat panadol... but i simply eat a bread and swallow 2 pills... and went back slping... i didnt dreamt of anything... i juz feel realli realli tired... and i wish i nv had woke up... had dinner... and i came to do some project... i cldnt not do anything... it is my responsible... now that i had finish wad i muz do... i nid to revise my maths... i have a test tmr... i wonder how will i do... i wonder how the day will be like tmr...
why do i feel lonely... why? why do i feel lonely when there are people ard mii... why? why cant i feel enuff? what more do i wan? what is it? why cant mummy think better abt mii... why am i liddat? why do i lurve to cry? why???
i think i am crazy...