i guess my birthday will be another normal day i have... nothing special at all... i will wake up late in the afternoon... having lunch wit my mum... then come back play computer games... at nite have dinner... then play games again... then slp at 2+ 3 again... but i dun wan it to be like this... i look forward to this special day... cuz this birthday is the first birthday i have in poly... but... my poly frens cancel away the outing with me... i dun blame them... moreover... i have not been attending their birthday party as much... feeling a bit down... i ask sec sch frens whether wanna go out... at first still okie... but in the end ppl stone... dun reply... i know they are busy... but it give me a feeling of dun really wanna care... cant hlp but feel really lonely... i am pessimistic... i know... i get really sad at the smallest thing u can imagine... but i cant hlp it... i cannot see things the good way... thinking everything will be fine... i worry and worry... i read ppl blogs... seeing them talking abt their dears and darlings... scolding them in the cute way... talking abt how they really care for each other... being lovey dovey... i cannot hlp but feel really lonely... i am jealous of them... i know this is really stupid... foolish thinking... but... being alone... when u wan someone to be ard u... when u feel really down... when u think nobody understand u... it ish really sad... the feeling onli i understand... the helplessness... the loneliness... i cannot hlp it... but feel that way... whoever tat read this may think this entry come frm a gal... but no... i am not sissy either... i juz have the insecurity... i am not complaining... and i am not trying to show that i am weak... i juz feel the nid to release my feeling...
today outing ish still on... we will still be going to kbox frm 2-7... at marina sq... onli have yumei... joseph... siang long... i thank u all for wanting to go out wit me... but i am feeling really terrible now... sry if i bring down the mood later... sry if am sucky... sry if i did anything wrong... sry for everything... sry... sry...
