p Ac i i ng In my o w n wor l d

寂寞寂寞就好

2010-12-31T15:39:00.002+08:00

All of us are given birth by our mother. A person whom should love you with all her heart. But in some unfortunate cases, mothers decide to give away their children due to many reasons. But the bond is forged at some point of time...

What I am trying to say is that all of us experience love right from the start. It comes from all size and shapes. Admiration, envy, kindness, care, jealousy and even hatred...

I am a person whom emotions ruled over my logical thinkings. I let my feelings take lead. I always yearn for all the wonderful and fanciful things to happen to me. But sometimes, even myself don't get what I want.

I experience love in all kind of ways. Friends who love you for who you are, mother whom can't seems to sleep well when you are out late and your phone can't get through, father who is always too proud to say that he cares when actually he is very much worried about you...

But why do I still feel like I am missing a part of something. Yes, thats the love of your life. Someone who is so special that they will eventually become the most important thing in your life... more important than your own life.

I always think that I will get to know this person at some point of time. But I get more and more wearied as time goes by. It is like this person don't want to meet me at all...

Throughout my 21 years of life, I have never been satisfied with the things that I have. I wanted more every time. But what I really want is a person to be called my own...

I give advices to people regarding their love life. I open up their views, give them comments and let them see the options there are to their problems. It is as though I know all about their troubles. But the truth is, I am just trying to be in their shoe, trying to experience what they are going through and imagine I am them. Because I don't get to be like them... I never experience their problems because I was never in love.

Who am I to even get them advice? Why will they come to me with their problems? Who am I to them? What do they want from me...

I can't remember when was the last time I felt like this... but this doesn't feel good at all. Especially today is the last day of 2010... why do I feel lonelier than ever.

Re-visiting nightmares

2010-07-12T20:15:00.002+08:00

People tend to run away from things that they don't like or things that they are afraid of. It is not common for one to face their fears in the face and try to conquer it. But there are times when people are forced to do so...

I have to book in back to my previous unit since my medic course ended last week. Now, I am feeling really scared and nervous about it. I don't want to go back there... the place looks scary. I can't fall asleep properly at night, I can't let my guard down at any time and I am jittery about all the time. I don't know what is coming up for me, I don't know what I have to do next, I don't know if people changed and I definitely don't know how to calm myself down...

Help me, somebody... I need to feel safe, I need somebody there to tell me it is going to be alright. I need to get back the feeling of feeling good. But where am I suppose to find it?

Why must my life be like that...

Mesmerised by the sun...

2009-08-22T22:23:00.001+08:00

I saw a beautiful sunrise this morning in Tekong... if only I had a camera with me.

Simple things in life such as this beautiful natural phenomenon that everybody take for granted (even me) is always there... what I am trying to say is, just look around us and we can find things that is worth feeling good about.

I stared at the sunrise with my iPod for a moment and I feel so relax and glad to witness it...

If only life can be that relaxing all the time =X

Beware of what you wish for...

2009-08-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

Sometime, when one person want something so much, so desperate, so strongly that when he finally got it... It doesn't always feel good. I know it depends on situation and also base on the things you want to get or wish happened.

For the record, I wanted something to happen so badly that I keep hoping and wishing. I think I lost my integrity at some point in time. I focus so much on wanting the bad things to happen and now I suffer from the sinister and evil feelings.

Well, at least everything is over now... and I can just keep this thing at the back of my head. I believe it will constantly remind me that I am not so perfect afterall...

there's no me without you

2009-06-25T17:13:00.004+08:00

Been sometime I introduce songs to my blog. Well, here is one that I find really nice. It's by Ashley Tisdale... Me Without You. I find her singing really well in this second album of hers, Guilty Pleasure. Going through all the songs from this album as compared to the previous one, there is a huge improvement in voice and overall quailty of the song. I seems to be enjoying all the songs this time round.

Here's the song that I really like. Dedicated to my Darling... ^^ Muack!

Ashley Tisdale - Me Without You

Lyric

It's just you and me

And there's no one around

Feel like I'm hanging by a thread

It's a long way down

I've been trying to breathe

But I'm fighting for air

I'm at an all time low

With no place to go

But you're always there

When everything falls apart

And it seems like the world

Is crashing at my feet

You like me the best

When I'm a mess

When I'm my own worst enemy

You make me feel beautiful (beautiful)

When I have nothing left to prove

And I can't imagine

How I'd make it through

There's no me without you

No me without you, no no

You hear what I say

When I don't say a word

You are my rising sun

You're the place I run

You know how it hurts

When everything falls apart

And it seems like the world

Is crashing at my feet

You like me the best

When I'm a mess

When I'm my own worst enemy

You make me feel beautiful (beautiful)

When I have nothing left to prove

And I can't imagine

How I'd make it through

There's no me without you

No me without you

There's no me without you

No me without you

And when you say 'baby, it's gonna get better'

I believe you

And I wish that somehow I could see me

The way you do

With my imperfections

You think I'm perfect

When it's not easy

You make it worth it

When everything falls apart

And it seems like the world

Is crashing at my feet

You like me the best

When I'm a mess

When I'm my own worst enemy

You make me feel beautiful (beautiful)

When I have nothing left to prove

And I can't imagine

How I'd make it through

There's no me without you

No me without you, no no

No me without you (no me without you)

No me without you, no no (no me without you), no

and here I am still not moving

2009-06-23T01:03:00.005+08:00

Dear you,

"Thinking big but acting small, is the same as thinking small.

Shiver me timbers.

Reading this and nodding in wholehearted agreement, but not doing a little acting "as if your dreams have come true" in the days that follow, is the same as not reading this."

yours sincerely,

More Notes from the Universe

Page 67

*The phrase "Shiver me timbers" is commonly used by pirates meaning "shock" or "sudden surprise," as the wooden masts or timbers of a ship would quake when the ship was hit by a cannonball, or if the ship suddenly ran aground or hit an unsuspecting object.

Life, Dreams and Happiness

2009-06-21T03:31:00.004+08:00

I spent $10 to buy this book "More Notes from the Universe" from the Book Clearance sale outside Plaza Singapura entrance today. It is an interesting book with many easy to read notes about life, dreams and happiness. Don't know what got me to pick up the book and actually flip through the pages. Perhaps the beautiful cover and pages... perhaps by chances I notice it in the mess of books. But I am happy I got it. I will share some of the notes now and then, especially the interesting ones. To start off, I would share this with you all.

Dear you,

"Fear just means you've forgotten how deeply you're loved, how safe you are, and that happiness will return, like you've never known it before. It doesn't change these things."

yours sincerely,

More Notes from the Universe

Page 92

I wish upon...

2009-06-18T00:29:00.004+08:00

1. HP Pavilion p6098d Home PC ($1999)

2. HTC Touch Diamond 2 ($828)

3. Nikon D90 ($1500)

4. Fred Perry Shoes ($?)

5. Sims 3 ($56.90)

6. Left 4 Dead 2 (Due Nov 17 2009)

7. Sony Playstation 3 ($535)

8. Nintendo Wii ($278)

9. Sony PSP Slim Lite ($285)

Zombies...

2009-06-15T01:38:00.002+08:00

Talking about zombies, I could only remember Left 4 Dead. But Darling introduce me to this song by The Cranberries, Zombie. I thought it would be a "funny" song or just another band song. But no, I find it so emotional as it talks about war and violence... The lead singer is awesome, she has such a unique voice and... well, just listen and you know.

The Cranberries - Zombie

Another head hangs lowly

Child is slowly taken

And the violence causes silence

Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it’s not me

It’s not my family

In your head, in your head

They are fightin’!

With their tanks, and their bombs

And their bombs, and their guns

In your head, in your head

They are cryin!

In your head! In your head!

Zombie! Zombie! Zombie,hey,hey,hey!

What’s in your head, in your head?

Zombie! Zombie! Zombie hey,hey,hey,oh dou, dou, dou,dou dou...

Another mother’s breaking

Heart is taken over.

When the violence causes silence

We must be mistaken.

It’s the same old theme

Since 1916!

In your head, in your head

They’re still fightin’!

With their tanks, and their bombs

And their bombs, and their guns

In your head, in your head!

They are dyin’!

In your head! In your head!

Zombie! Zombie! Zombie,hey, hey,hey

What’s in your head, in your head?

Zombie! Zombie! Zombie hey, hey, hey, hey,oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, hey, oh, ya, ya-a!

dying from the inside...

2009-06-13T23:42:00.005+08:00

Do you know about this feeling...?

Its like when people around you are all happy and lively, while you are the only one who feels sorry for yourself...

You are agonising in your own sorrow.

You are trap within your own hell.

You are seemingly fine... but actually you want to die.

People would ask "How are you? Are you okay?"... It seems as though they care, but seriously the answer they want from you is... "I'm fine."

They would then accept that answer from you and move on... while you are still feeling the same way as before.

What if for a change... you say, "No, I am not okay." How will they react...?

To be honest... I don't know how to describe my feelings. I don't know how to say them out even when people do ask. I don't know how to help myself... how can I let others help me?

Mum ask me why am I so moody? And all I have for her was a slight raise with my eyebrows... I may even fake a smile. So this stop her from asking... stop her from knowing. And she would never really get to know me...

Maybe all I wanted was attention... but when I get them, I don't know how to react to them.

Maybe all I needed was care... but when I get them, I don't know if they are true.

I am so complicated. I know it myself. I was never easy and I never will be.

It is so easy to know what mood do I have. I talk a lot when I am happy but never will make a sound when I am not. But people don't seems to notice that... for some reasons. Probably I get depressed too easily till people can't be bothered to care about me... maybe.

I can't seems to get happy any way... no matter what I focus on, at the end of the day I would still be back to my depressed self. The irritating, problematic and highly emotional self. Sometimes I get so tired of being like this. Even I find myself troublesome to be deal with. So I keep quiet about it. Let myself handle it. And nobody will know what exactly I am feeling. I guess by doing this, people around me will be happier because they can move on with their life without having to focus energy on me... "Just let him be..."

Just be quiet about it... and soon everything will be over.

People don't need to know about it... and they can still be your friends.

Keeping it to myself... and at the end of the day only I suffer.

I am tired of crying...

tired of trying...

and even though I am smiling...

inside of me is dying...

Unlimited craving... Rees' greed

2009-06-10T21:40:00.003+08:00

Jolin Tsai - Butterfly Jolin

Hmmm... I would say luck has been with me these few weeks? Never had I won any lucky draw or things like that before and I won 2 music albums this time. One is from teens and the other is from a website. I won Jolin Tsai's Butterfly Jolin deluxe edition album from teens while The Saturdays new album, Chasing Lights from the website. Kinda cool to actually receive emails saying that you won something.

The Saturdays - Chasing Lights

Does this means lady luck is around me? I want to get a new desktop PC for a while now... but have no luck in convincing my mum to actually let me get one. Hopefully I can find some really good deal tomorrow at the PC Show at Suntec City and I can get one PC soon. This may be the last material thing I wish for before I enlist. Really want to get it... really.

Unconventional Ritual

2009-06-02T02:31:00.004+08:00

"... and I was the mom, Kevin was the dad. Well, because that is what our family looks like so that is all we knew. And now, here we are at Kevin's second wedding and the rules are different and things that we thought to be true turn out not to be. And it seems that when we give up on what was, well, that is when things that we thought improbable or impossible even happens right before your eyes."

----Kitty McCallister

Misplaced

2009-05-29T16:34:00.004+08:00

"We're all born with the ability to fall in love with a person.

But right until the point where you all start to label our relationship, then I know I am so different.

This feeling of inferiority is taught by all of you..."

The Serenity Prayer

2009-05-28T00:45:00.003+08:00

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Okay, I am not a Christian of any sorts... but I find this prayer very meaningful... especially these few lines,

"God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference."

Just find it very nice~

Heaven's tears

2009-05-26T18:12:00.003+08:00

Until it started raining heavily today, I have no idea how much I miss the rain...

It gets me thinking about things which I have not done or seen and people whom I never get in touch with. Its the feeling you will get when everyday is so routine and monotonous.

But anyway, the rain is beautiful as it clears up the sky. One thing that is missing from the beauty is a rainbow.

Oh well, I didn't to stay home and enjoy watching the rain because I was out with Hwee Ing and Hui Xian. Went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital to have lunch because Hui Xian had an interview going on there~ good luck on receiving the job! After eating the long missed Yong Tau Foo, we went around Novena looking for Strawberry Cheese Cake as Hui Xian want to eat that. In the end we wander off to United Square and still couldn't find anything nice. Just when we are about to get some donuts instead, Hui Xian spotted a shop which her friends talk about, Udder Ice Cream. It is a very interesting ice cream parlour as they sell exotic flavors. Exotic as in rare but not weird. We each get 2 scoops of ice creams, Hui Xian got Strawberry Fields and Tira-Miss-You, Hwee Ing got Green Tea and Rum Rum Raisin and I got Pure Pistachio and Cherry Bomb. Tira-Miss-You taste like Tiramisu but contains Brandy (yes, a type of alcohol drink). Rum Rum Raisin as the name speak for itself, Rum + Raisin. As for Cherry Bomb, it has cherries in it and Cherry Liquor. So all of us have a flavor that has alcohol in them, very interesting and they all taste really good. Now for the pricing... Strawberry Fields, Green Tea and Pure Pistachio are all classic flavors. Rum Rum Raisin is a premium flavor. Tira-Miss-You and Cherry Bomb are connoisseur flavours. So Hui Xian and I paid $6.70 for our combinations and Hwee Ing paid $5.40 for hers. I won't say it is cheap... but to try them once in a while is okay I guess? Lol~ you decide it for yourself. The shop is outside United Square, across the road, along the shop to the underpass to MRT station. Can sure ask me for direction if you are interested.

Well, I hope it rains some more... I love the Heaven's tears...

Star-crossed

2009-05-20T20:32:00.002+08:00

"From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, / a pair of star-cross'd lovers, take their life."

On new road

2009-05-13T19:45:00.008+08:00

Rees has graduated!

He wants to thank all his friends who have been with him throughout the 3 years of his poly life. It is them that make my graduation possible. Obstacles and challenges... Laughters and sadness... My memory is filled with wonderful things that happened. I love all of you guys and girls... and I will continue loving you all...

Not everyone is in this picture.. but I love everyone in my class.. so much so much.. I am gonna miss you all! Let's go out everytime we can and not forget each other alright!?

*A FANTASTICALLY BIG HUG TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!*

Here's a song for all of you...

We've come so far and we still got so far to go!

(volume may be a little soft)

Lyrics are in the video as well

Hey old friend, let's look back

On the crazy clothes we wore

Ain't it fun to look back

And to see it's all been done before

All those nights together

Are a special memory

And I can't wait for tomorrow

Just as long as you're

dancing next to me

Cause it's so clear

Every year

We get stronger

What's gone is gone

The past is the past

Turn the radio up

And then hit the gas

Cause . . .

I know we've Come So Far

But we've Got So Far To Go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long 'till it's time to go

So, most days we'll take it fast

And some nights lets take it slow

I know we've Come So Far

But baby

We've Got So Far To Go

Hey old friend, together

Side by side and year by year

The road was filled with twists

and turns

Oh but that's the road that

got us here

Let's move past the bad times

But before those memories fade

Let's forgive but not forget

And learn from the mistakes we made

Cause it's so clear

Every year

We get stronger

So don't give up

Don't say when

And just get back on the road again

Cause . . .

I know we've Come So Far

But we've Got So Far To Go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long till it's

time to go

So, most days we'll take it fast

And some nights lets take it slow

I know we've Come So Far

Oh but baby, baby

We've Got So Far To Go

Hey old friend come along for the ride

There's plenty of room so jump inside

The highway's rocky every now and then

But it so much better than

where I've been

Just keep movin', at your own speed

Your heart is all the compass

you'll ever need

Let's keep cruisin' the road we're on

'Cause the rear view mirror only shows

what's gone, gone, gone

Cause it's so clear

Every year

We get stronger

So shine that light

Take my hand

And let's dance into tomorrow land

Cause . . .

I know we've Come So Far

But we've Got So Far To Go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long till it's

time to go

So, most days we'll take it fast

And some nights lets take it slow

I know we've Come So Far

Oh but baby, baby

We've Got So Far To Go

wtf

2009-05-09T17:41:00.001+08:00

why is my fucking blog post not coming out!? why when it refreshes, some posts can disappear!?

i don't know

2009-05-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

i just wish that you can feel the way i feel... understand what i am feeling and cheer me up a little... just a little...

You'll find me, time after time

2009-05-03T17:09:00.003+08:00

Ronan Keating's version of Time After Time

His newest album, Songs For My Mother, is out now!

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,

And think of you

Caught up in circles confusion-

Is nothing new

Flashback-warm nights-

Almost left behind

Suitcases of memories,

Time after-

Sometimes you picture me-

I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me, I can't hear

What you've said-

Then you say-go slow-

I fall behind-

The second hand unwinds

[Chorus:]

If you're lost you can look-and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting

Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has

Turned to gray

Watching through windows-you're wondering

If I'm OK

Secrets stolen from deep inside

The drum beats out of time-

[Chorus:]

If you're lost you can look-and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting

Time after time

You said go slow-

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds-

[Chorus:]

If you're lost you can look-and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting

Time after time

*this song is for u my darling...

Mindless

2009-05-03T01:02:00.002+08:00

Been a few days since I last blogged... let's see what do I have in mind?

...

....

.....

nothing... =="

Kisses

2009-04-29T23:55:00.001+08:00

MUACKS!!

Missing misses

2009-04-28T18:26:00.002+08:00

Its getting boring day by day...

I need some spice, sugar and everything nice in life!

Just shut up..

2009-04-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

I will do what I have to do, when I have to do, when I want to do and when I have the feeling to do it.

Gone soon...

2009-04-24T21:43:00.001+08:00

It won't be too long from now...

Rees is tired...

2009-04-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

Rees is going crazy...

He is just going to pop his pills and go to sleep.

100 Single Ladies - Where are all the men?

2009-04-21T17:38:00.002+08:00

Beyonce should be so proud of herself... she created a phenomenon!

Enjoy this video say... 33.33 (100/3) more times than her music video. XD

I clear away my stuffs... but not the memories

2009-04-20T22:19:00.002+08:00

As usual, I woke up at around 3.10pm today... was feeling so tired. But, I suddenly have the urge to clean my room due to constant nagging from my mum. Usually, those nagging won't get through to me and I will only do things when I feel like to.

I started working on my room from around 3.50pm. I cleared lots and lots of stuffs... keep away some things and throw away lots of them. After battling with the rubbishs for 4hrs+, I am finally done. My tables are super empty now, cupboards and neater than ever and best of all... lots of empty spaces! I have never seen my room so empty before... HAHA

Then had my dinner at 8.20pm and watch Amazing Race at 8.30pm. Read my post about it below...

btw, Congratulation to my Darling for finishing first day in school today! I am so happy for you! Work hard and play hard kies! Muacks! I love you! ^^

Amazing Race - Not So Amazing People

2009-04-20T21:55:00.004+08:00

I got so angry watching the latest episode of Season 14 Amazing Race aired on 20th April 2009. Kisha and Jen pushes my limit to tolerate their ignorant and downright rude and ugly behavior. They come into comfict with Margie and Luke at 2 points in the game when getting their clue from the clue box. Each time I saw it as Kisha and Jen fault. First off, Jen called Luke a bitch when she couldn't get her pathetic clue first. Then she pushes him away on the second clue box when Luke came from behind. Having said that, Luke is a dumb and deaf guy... How can anyone be of right mind be so rude to someone with a disability?

At the end of the race when Phil ask them about the intensity of the race, Margie and Luke confronted Kisha and Jen and they didn't care at all. They seems to think it is funny when Margie speaks and give off very rude and arrogant vibes. When Luke is signing, Kisha has the cheek to smile and laugh. That is very rude and ugly of her! I can't stand the way they react to the situation, how can somebody of this personality be on the show? Their personalities suck big time and they have ugly characters. They would ne

ver understand the world Luke and Margie are going through because they have brain smaller than the size of a pea. No... maybe even smaller than a dust particle.

Kisha and Jen are ugly! You girls made history in Amazing Race, congratulations! You girls have earn yourselves a new hate fan from Singapore! BITCHES!

(Kisha & Jen. Ugly bitches.. what kind of pose is that)

(Luke & Margie. Luke is deaf and dumb and can only communitcate with his mum through signing)

Zac Efron told me to be responsible

2009-04-19T15:44:00.006+08:00

Had a great night/day with Darling. We catch 17 Again at Bishan Junction 8 at the 11.50am time slot and the cinema hall is actually not very packed. We are the first two to enter the hall and I took a photograph of it...

(take a look at the crimson hall...)

Anyway, the movie is fabulous... was funny, meaningful and enjoyable. The ang moh lady in front of us keep on laughing at the tiny-est bit of details. But the whole movie become more funny because of her. XD The take home message I got from the movie would be to "be responsible in every actions you take because you won't get a second chance to do it again" and "even if you made a bad choice, don't blame others or yourself but rather try and improve and do things better in the future". Well, all these things are easier said than done... but keeping them in mind all the time will remind us to be a better person.

Having said all that... I am afraid of my future...

I'm looking for attention

2009-04-16T23:59:00.004+08:00

before the MV for the other new Kelly Clarkson's songs to come out, I will post an older song from her... Don't know if people know about this jewel from her "Breakaway" album, more famous songs include "Breakaway", "Since You Been Gone", "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and "Because Of You". Try this~

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

Lyrics

You've got your mother and your brother

Every other undercover

Tellin' you what to say (say)

You think I'm stupid

But the truth is

That it's cupid, baby

Lovin' you has made me this way

So before you point your finger

Get your hands off of my trigger

Oh yeah

You need to know this situation's getting old

And now the more you talk

The less I can take, oh

I'm looking for attention

Not another question

Should you stay or should you go?

Well, if you don't have the answer

Why are you still standin' here?

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Just walk away

I waited here for you

Like a kid waiting after school

So tell me how come you never showed (showed)?

I gave you everything

And never asked for anything

And look at me

I'm all alone (alone)

So, before you start defendin'

Baby, stop all your pretendin'

I know you know I know

So what's the point in being slow

Let's get the show on the road today

Hey

I'm looking for attention

Not another question

Should you stay or should you go?

Well, if you don't have the answer

Why are you still standin' here?

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Just walk away

I wanna love

I want a fire

To feel the burn

My desires

I wanna man by my side

Not a boy who runs and hides

Are you gonna fight for me?

Die for me?

Live and breathe for me?

Do you care for me?

'Cause if you don't then just leave

I'm looking for attention

Not another question

Should you stay or should you go?

Well, if you don't have the answer

Why are you still standin' here?

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Just walk away

If you don't have the answer

Walk away

Just walk (walk) away

(Just walk away)

Then just leave

Yeah yeah

Walk away

May many more merry months made...

2009-04-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY DARLING!!

(i love u more than anything... and may we stay in love forever more...)

Love at the new mall

2009-04-13T17:37:00.007+08:00

Well, I went with Darling to Tampines 1 today~ You know... the new mall, which people started queueing to enter before 10am on the first day they open. Where the first Uniqlo store opened in Singapore~ yes... that is the place I am talking about. =X

Reach there before 10am and we have to wait for the electronic door to open. Guess what? There are quite a lot of people waiting to go in like us. ==" No need to work ah? So free is it? LOL (cannot include us, cause we are in holidays, they are like adults)

Hmmm... we walk around for a bit, take a look at the stores... went in to Uniqlo, which was already packed with people, saw some nice clothings but did not buy any. Was interested in their COLOURFUL underwears... but they ran out of small size ==" I guess skinny people love to buy underwear huh? LOL XD

We then walk around Tampines Mall and Century Square as well... the 2 other malls only next to Tampines 1. There are not much people there~ went to the arcade at Tampines Mall and I played Para Para, and Darling join me for DDR. I really shouldn't have play them cause I am feeling so damn tired after 5 Para Para songs and 6 DDR songs ==" Even till now while I was typing, I still feel giddy from jumping so much! HAHAHA (old already =X)

After having a bit of lunch at Century Square's Food Junction, we make our way out and back to Tampines interchange where we take bus 28 back home. Reached home about 4.25pm.

It was a nice day out~ MUACK DARLING!

I want Nobody but You

2009-04-13T01:10:00.004+08:00

Got to listen to this Korean song... It is NICE! Very catchy~ I love their movement and dance. Very fluid and cute. Hahaha~ The music video itself is funny too... poor guy at the end. HAHA

Wonder Girls - Nobody

Darling... I want nobody but you...

English Lyrics are in the video itself

*******************************************************************

Lyrics (I don't know how to read them myself... LOL)

You Know I still Love You Baby.

And it will never change.

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo nigaanimyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Nan silheunde wae nar mir eonaeryeogohani jakku naemareun deutji anhgo

Wae ireohge dareun namjaege narbonaeryeo hani eotteohge ireoni

Nar wihae geureoh dan geumar

Neonbujok hadaneun geumar

Ijen geuman haeneon nareur aljanha wae won hajido anhneun georgang yohae

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Nan joheun de nan haengbok hande neoman isseu myeondwae deo baral geeopt neunde

Nugur mannaseo haengbok haran geoya nan neor tteonaseo haengbok harsueopseo

Nar wihae geureoh dan geumar

Neonbujok hadaneun geumar

Mari andoeneun mari ran georwae molla niga eopsi eotteohge haengbokhae

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silh eo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want nobody body body.I don't want nobody body

Naneun jeongmar niga animyeon niga animyeon silhdan maryaa~

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You

Nandareun sarameun silheo niga animyeon silheo

I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

(RAP)

Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free

Modeunge neomuna kkumman gatatdeon geuttaero doragago sipeunde

Waejakku nareur mireo naeryeohae

Why do you push me away. I don't want nobody nobody

Nobody nobody but you.

*******************************************************************

After the nice and beautiful song... want something funny? LOL (you should only watch this after you watch the music video above) This guy do the exact same dance and movement as the girls did in the music video... and he is GOOD!! HAHAHAHA!! GENIUS!!

I am soooooo impressed by him!! Can't stop watching this!! Look closely... its all him... LOL Anybody wanna learn this dance? I am interested to.. XD

I saw more than a haircut...

2009-04-12T23:58:00.007+08:00

Woke up at 3.30pm today... and my stomach was growling like mad. Had a packet of maggie mee and went to Ang Mo Kio to have my haircut. The same guy from my previous previous haircut did this haircut for me again. This time round when he was cutting my hair, I saw this big scar on his hand... it looks familiar...

(oh well, it may not look any different... but i do feel the cut...)

all I wanted is to know that u're there... it is that simple... just an act from you will keep me happy for the rest of the day...

The Mind Cafe - what about mine?

2009-04-11T23:59:00.005+08:00

(Video of us playing Jenga)

Went out in the afternoon with the bunch~ which include Guan Hao, Hui Xian, Hui Hui, Christle, Raf and Lai Yee. Went into the cafe at around 2.30pm and stay throughout till 7pm. Played quite alot of board games and card games. Let's see if I can list them out...

1. Loot (Pirate cards game)

2. Taboo (I like this the most)

3. Jenga (so nervous playing this)

4. Monopoly (didnt even complete one round)

5. Dumbass (donkey trivia game - answer questions)

6. Snorta (Funny and fun)

7. Co-Motion (Charade)

8. Zombies (Brainless game)

I hope I didnt miss out any games... The session add up to $97.10 for the 7 of us. By the way, if you are planning to go to that place, make sure you bring someone who can make a lot of noise while playing those games. Cause we were deafen by the groups around us who make damn bloody hell lots of screeching and irritating noises.

We then went to the OCBC center to have our dinner at Burger King. Talk for awhile and left at around 9+ pm. I follow Hui Xian to Clarke Quay because she has to walk home (EZ-Link card was empty). I then take 54 back home. The day was fun...

(Only manage to camwhore with Hui Xian)

March is over... but the memories will stay

2009-04-10T23:59:00.007+08:00

Another Japanese song from the drama I like really much... 1 Litre of Tears

Nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de

Futo hi no nagasa wo kanji masu

Sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni

Watashi to anata de yume wo egaku

San gatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete

Sakura no tsubomi wa haru he to tsuduki masu

Afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga

Sukoshizutsu asa wo atatame masu

Ookinaa kubi wo shita ato ni

Sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de

Arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi

Kiduita koto wa hitori ja naitte koto

Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga

Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de

Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou

Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai

Kono saki mo tonari de sotto hohoen de

Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga

Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de

Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou

Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai

The boys are back~

2009-04-10T23:59:00.005+08:00

Woot~! I am so tired right now~ ==" (hopefully I will sleep earlier tonight!)

Woke up at 3pm today and get ready to go out and meet the boys from my past 1M06 class, Guan Hao, Shuan, Ming Jian and Chang Yuan. I lefft home around 4.05pm and thought I would still be in time. But I reached City Hall MRT station at 4.40pm. We're suppose to meet at 4.45pm in front of Swensen at Marina Square. So I met up with Guan Hao first at the train station and make our way over to Marina Square. Then I got to know from him that the rest will be late. So we walk around for a bit and I withdraw some money to buy something to eat because I have not ate anything for the whole day. Got myself a sandwich from 7-11 which cost me $3.30 ==" And so i ate while waiting for the rest of the guys to arrive. Until 5.30pm then Shuan appears and so we went in to Swensen. Talk for a bit and waited and Ming Jian arrives. Then Shuan and Ming Jian went to get the ticket for their movie, Fast and Furious 4, at 7pm. They ordered first before they go. Then Chang Yuan appears and ordered his food while the other foods came. The queue for the movie is so long that they only come back to eat at 6.30pm. We left Swensen at around 6.55pm and move to the cinema where I bid my farewell because I am going back to my grandma's place for dinner. Yeap, I didn't eat anything at Swensen.

After having dinner, we watch tv for a bit and talk~ Then went home at 9+ pm. Got my graduation letter already... 11th May 2009 is the ceremony. Oh well... I will be attending, right?

(to you, my one and only... I know it won't be an easy trip or a casual thing for you, because it has always been a fear and pressure. Though it hurts me so much to see you in pain and being so nervous, I can't do anything to help but to hope that everything will be alright for you... Please be fine darling... I know it is hard, but you have me to turn to when you are scare and sad okay? I am just a call away everytime... I love you.)

I am your POP STAR!

2009-04-09T21:04:00.007+08:00

Let's shake up the J-FEVER!! XD I know this is an old song... ==" but who cares! He is fabulous

POP STAR - Hirai Ken

Popping popping! POPPI!

Romanji

I wanna be a pop star

kimi wo motto muchuu ni sasete ageru kara ne

KIRAKIRA no pop star

hane wo hiroge mahou wo kakete ageyou kimi dake ni

kimi ni deaeta yorokobi to kimi ni aenai samishisa no

ryouhou wo te ni irete koi wa hashiridasu

sora mo tobenai boku dakedo kodoku wo utau yoru dakedo

sono hoho ni hohoemi wo ataerareta nara

hajimete kimi wo dakishimeta shunkan ni

kamisama ga boku ni kudashita shimei wa kimi dake no HI-RO-

*1 I wanna be a pop star

kimi wo motto muchuu ni sasete ageru kara ne

KIRAKIRA no pop star

hane wo hiroge mahou wo kakete ageyou

*2 I wanna be your pop star

kimi wo gyutto dakishimete ageru kara oide

KIRAKIRA no pop star

hane wo hiroge mahou wo kakete ageyou kimi dake ni

kakushite itai kurayami mo kimi wa sotto hiroiagete

taisetsu na boku nan da to dakishimete kureta

hikari e to tsudzuku michi wo aruite yukou

kizu kabau kono migite wa kimi to te wo tsunagu tame ni

You're gonna be my pop star

boku wo motto muchuu ni sasete yo hohoende

KIRAKIRA no pop star

sono hitomi de boku ni mahou wo kakete

You're my only pop star

boku wo gyutto dakishimetara mou hanasanai

KIRAKIRA no pop star

sono hitomi de boku ni mahou wo kakete imasugu ni

koi ni ochitara daremo ga dareka no pop star

kamisama ga boku ni kudashita shimei wa kimi dake no HI-RO-

*1, *2 repeat

******************************************************************

English Translation

I wanna be a pop star

and be more to you

I’m lifted from the ground in a daze

A sparling pop star

I spread my wings and do my magic

just for you

When I’m with you I’m so happy

but then I’m so sad when I’m not

Taking each other’s hands

we run straight into a love affair

I can’t fly to the sky

but I can sing my song of loneliness at night

if that would bring a smile to your cheeks

When I held you close for the first time

It was as if God himself came down upon me

Now my destiny is to be a hero, just for you

*I wanna be a pop star

and be more to you

I’m lifted from the ground in a daze

A sparkling pop star

I spread my wings

and do my magic

**I wanna be your pop star

try harder for you

so come here so I can hold you

A sparkling pop star

I spread my wings and do my magic

just for you

I want to hide in darkness

and have you pick up me gently

If I’m imporatant to you,

then hold me tight

I keep walking this road, towards the light

Using my right hand to protect you from pain

so that I can hold you with my other hand

You’re gonna be my pop star

and be more to me

You smile in a daze

A sparkling pop star

In your eyes, I do my magic

You’re my only pop star

try harder for me

Hold me, and don’t let go

A sparkling pop star

Right now, in your eyes,

I do my magic

As you fall in love

anybody can be anyone’s pop star

As God himself came down upon me

My destiny was to be a hero, just for you

Days of my life

2009-04-09T11:43:00.008+08:00

(i wish i can wake up to this everyday)

No, this is not Rees blogging. XD

It has been such a long time since I wake up at this time to use the computer... and I mean it. If we're talking about going out and things, yea, I still wake up early for them. But not if I were to stay at home all day. Let's see...

Routine for my days:

-Wakes up at 2.30pm

-Help Mum look after the baby while she go fetch his sister

-Have lunch (usually bought)

-Hide myself in the room for the rest of the day till 7pm playing facebook

-Comes out to have dinner

-Go back in to my room after dinner

-Chat with Darling till 1am

-Watch videos, movies etc

-Listen to music before going to sleep at 4+ to 5am

Woot, that is basically how I spend my everyday if I did not go out. Guess it is time to change my habits... (easier said than done)

GOOD MORNING TO ALL!! (before I miss the chance to say it until the next time I wake up before 12pm)

I saw thunder...

2009-04-08T23:13:00.004+08:00

Conversation with Nick at 11.10pm

Nick:

here like want to rain, or wanted to rain...

it's cloudy and breezy...

Rees:

i saw thunder when i was at the kitchen just now

but havent rain still

Nick:

u saw thunder

Rees:

LOL

lightning

Nick:

WOW

Rees:

HAHAHAHAHA

Nick:

i heard the lightning

Thats a good one... ==" What am I thinking man... LOL

Read my Letter - Be strong my Darling

2009-04-08T17:16:00.007+08:00

Heard this song from Shin's blog... and I find it amazing...

I love it...

(Tegami means Letter in Japanese)

English Translation:
Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone

If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness

***********************************************
Romaji Lyrics

Haikei kono tegami yondeiru anata wa
Doko de nani wo shiteiru no darou

Juugo no boku ni wa dare ni mo hanasenai
Nayami no kanae ga aru no desu

Mirai no jibun ni atete kaku tegami nara
Kitto sunao ni uchiake rareru darou

Ima makesou de nakisou de
Kieteshimaisou na boku wa
Dare no kotoba wo
Shinji arukeba ii no?
Hitotsu shika nai kono mune ga nando mo barabara ni warete
Kurushii naka de ima wo ikiteiru
Ima wo ikiteiru

Haikei arigatou juugo no anata ni
Tsutaetai koto ga aru no desu
Jibun to wa nani de doko e mukau beki ka
Toitsu dzukereeba mietekuru

Areta seishun no umi wa kibishii keredo
Asu no kishibe e to yume no fune yo susume

Ima makenai de nakanai de
Kieteshimaisou na toki wa
Jibun no koe wo shinjiaru keba ii no?
Otona no boku mo kizutsuite
Nemurenai yoru wa aru kedo
Nigakute amai ima ikiteiru

Jinsei no subete ni imi ga aru kara
Osorezu ni anata no yume wo sodatete
La la la, la la la
Keep on believing
La la la, la la la,
Keep on believing, keep on believing, keep on believing

Makesou de nakisou de
Kieteshimaisou boku wa
Dare no kotoba wo shinji arukeba ii no?
Aa Makenaii de nakanai de
Kieteshimaisou na toki wa
Jibun no koe wo shinjiarukeba ii no
Itsu no jidai mo kanashimi mo
Sakete wa torenai keredo
Egao wo misete ima wo ikite yukou
Ima wo ikite yukou

Haikei kono tegami yondeiru anata ga
Shiawase na koto wo negaimasu

2009-04-02T17:37:00.002+08:00

To dream that you cannot find what you are shopping for, suggests that you are trying to find a solution to some life problem.

2009-04-01T18:05:00.004+08:00

Somehow, one way or another... my emo self caught up again.

He somehow scream for attention from me...

Eventually, I let him overtake my body once more.

I am sorry Darling, not am I not strong, but I am acting in a way, not making things any easier for you...

(and so, I live in the dark in my room. Hearing parents talking and kids laughing just the opposite side of the door make me feel even lonelier. I just want to be drunk... and things would all look better)

2009-03-24T16:05:00.001+08:00

God... am I lazy to blog.

LOL! Been back since Sunday but have not upload the pics from my trip and not blog about my trip... Sorry for those that are waiting! I will (i hope) blog about the trip and post the photos up soon! =X

2009-03-13T20:17:00.002+08:00

Rees will be away from Singapore from 14th Mar to 21st Mar!

His China trip is on... =="

shall elaborate on what happen another time...

till 21st March... I WILL SEE ALL OF YOU AGAIN!! ^^

(I will miss you a lot too Darling... hope to see you immediately after I came back... hahaha... I LOVE YOU!!! MUACKS!!)

2009-03-11T20:46:00.003+08:00

Things are so bloody F*** up...

I have been anticipating and waiting so long for a trip overseas with my family and yet nothing go smoothly. First is the date, have to change so damn many times making me change dates with other events. Have to trouble my friends to keep accommodating to my timing. In the end, I have to choose between this China trip with my family and Bintan trip with my friends. I chose to go with my family...

That means I have to forfeit the time with my friends. See what happens now... they are going to Bintan tomorrow without me, spending time with each other and having fun. What about me? I am on the verge of missing my China trip because of some stupid riot that is happening in Szechuan China Tibet area. Whatever or wherever that is. China have to restrict foreign tourists to enter Jiu Zhai Gou (where I am going) and some other places. WHY THE FUCKING HELL THIS HAS TO HAPPEN? I have been waiting for this trip and changing plans and making preparation for it. Now I may not be going afterall...

All because of some fucking stupid brainless tibet citizens or the Dala Lama. Idiotic people with senseless thinkings. Why bother asking for indenpendency for Tibet when you know you wont be able to survive without the ruling and help of China Govt? Because of this single person or organisation that is washing their brain, telling them to fight for independency and so they start a fuck up riot. How irony. Will the god they worship ask them to do something like that? It only takes a small brain to think about the consequences of getting independency. That means people who start the riot over there has no brain at all...

At the cost of my trip... people who start the riot there are seriously fuck up!

2009-03-08T00:16:00.006+08:00

I LOVE YOU DARLING!!

2009-03-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

I can't help but feel hopeless...

Like life is meaningless...

I am not a hopeful person to begin with...

But I always try my best to get pass everyday...

I want to give you strength and courage...

I want to make you feel better...

I want you to be hopeful and confident...

I want your life to be joyful...

I want you to only experience the good times...

But I fail in doing anything...

I lost the light somehow...

I am scare and afraid too...

I am terrified by many things too...

I am uncertain of my future...

I feel weak and fragile too...

I need you to cheer me up too...

I need you to be strong for me...

The date is nearing for me more than you...

But yet I am trying my best to make you feel better...

What about me...

I am lost too...

I need you to guide me too...

I need you...

2009-03-04T20:06:00.005+08:00

Rees is back from Sentosa!

was away from 2nd March till today morning~ Spending 2 days 2 nights at Costa Sands Resort Sentosa.

It is a much needed holiday and it was F-A-B-ULOUS!

I enjoy the trip alot... and never had I been so close to someone before.

how will I survive if you were not near anymore...?

2009-03-01T00:16:00.003+08:00

Since now I have the internet, i shall blog briefly... (ppl lock their internet already.. I can't access anymore.. saded T.T)

Dinner at Bukit Batok View for NUH DLM Annual Dinner was AWESOME!! OH MY GOD!! It was super fun la.. BLT 18 was the best man!! All super high and have fun throughout the whole night. Will not post more cause I scare the connection will be lost.

I LOVE BLT 18!! Thank you all for being part of my life!! I Love you all!! ^^ MUACKS!!

(go to http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=67448&id=735388174&saved#/album.php?aid=67446&id=735388174 for photos I taken)

2009-02-26T16:55:00.002+08:00

Its the end of my Polytechnic school life!

WOOHOO!!

VIVA was horrible because I can't answer all the damn questions. The questions are suppose to be easy.. but I can't remember all the answers. Sigh~ BUT!! What is done cannot be undone.. so I shall not care too much! LOL! Moreover, I can't do anything now to change my grades too~ Don't care already!

Science will no longer be part of my life (at least not studying). Thank god for that.. Lol XD

I will have whole lots of things to do now!! Wahahahaha~ enjoy life. =X

2009-02-23T23:59:00.003+08:00

Just one more paper...

and VIVA on thursday.

Then my life in the science field will be over altogether...

I will cherish this memory I had for the past 3 years in this course. But never will I want to experience it again... lol =X

I love all the people whom I have met in the past 3 years throughout my course. Friends, colleagues at NUH, Jurong Polyclinic, TTSH, mentors from all over the place and people whose act of kindness a way or another helped me throughout my 3 years... Thank you all.

*i am graduating soon! WooHoo!!!!

2009-02-21T13:41:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOD!

MY HEAD IS GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE NOW!!

THE STUPID CONSTRUCTION HAS TO START DRILLING AND FUCKING MAKE SO MUCH NOISE EARLY AT 9 FUCKING AM!!

AND I ONLY SLEPT AT 5AM IN THE MORNING!!

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO FUCKING BEGIN DRILLING AND BANGING THINGS ON A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY MORNING WHILE THEY HAVE ALL WEEKDAYS TO DRILL ALL THEY WANT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ALL AT WORK!!

THE BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY MORNING IS DAMN NOW!!

NOW I HAVE A FUCKING HEADACHE!!

FUCK THE NOISES!!

FUCK OFF!!

*crys...

2009-02-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

First paper ended...

EMO

=="

2009-02-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

Somebody kill me

or let me have amnesia...

The thoughts in my mind are poisons to my body.

I am going crazy.....

2009-02-17T22:27:00.003+08:00

Why do I feel like I am missing something...

A part of me seems to be missing...

2009-02-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

It was a great night / day...

Thank you

2009-02-12T23:46:00.004+08:00

I am actually quite intimidated by tomorrow army medical check up... Time for the truth or something. LOL. Can't help but feeling scare and nervous...

*New skin~ what do u think?

2009-02-12T02:25:00.000+08:00

U're not suppose to laugh.. the boy will get angry!

LOL!! XD HECK IT MAN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

2009-02-11T20:58:00.001+08:00

Vomited =="

bloody hell...

2009-02-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

I have never been angry with you... so what is there to forgive?

you are still my friend.

2009-02-08T23:39:00.003+08:00

I didn't want to say anything I shouldn't and a huge part of me would love to keep things hanging. But I suppose you suffer enough from me... and I wish you could find answers here...
(I still don't have my internet.. I am tapping onto other ppl wireless so I could get things cleared. If you are wondering why I have it the other day, I am at sch, in class...)

Me being absence from the internet is like being away from everybody. Kinda scary... but kinda good if I wanted to be left alone. It is somehow a relieve in certain point but no... I would rather have the net.

I miss out a lot... and by that, I mean not knowing a lot of things which could only be access when I have the internet. You blogging about your feelings... about your problems... all of which I could not see. It is just like me... not telling, not saying how I really feel. Maybe I am trying to get ppl to realize what I am feeling themselves, but that is a mistake. Nobody really knows what you are feeling unless you tell them.

The day that I went out with you to watch the movie, I am really happy. Without any things holding me back, without any responsibility. I can talk for as much as I want and you can tell me anything you want. I am just satisfied and glad that day. I appreciate your presents and you walking me back home. The journey is much warmer.

I don't know if I have led you into thinking much deeper, but I am sorry if I am giving off wrong signal to you. I am really glad we are friends...

Until you told me about your god brother... until you try to push further. I am afraid... that's why I move away. At the same time, I try to be normal... like a friend to you.

Then... I got to know that you are not in a good shape that day. But seeing your smses, you are acting to be alright. It makes me wonder... why are you faking it in front of me? When you blog about all those things, knowing that I won't be able to read, you still try to "Hee hee", "haha" in your smses. It makes me feel really bad... On one hand you are suffering, while on the other, you are trying to look as if you are fine in front of me.

Then you blame me... where am I when you needed someone? Or needed me most...?

Maybe I was wrong... when you told me about your parents and I didnt reply. At the point of time, I am already running. Trying to get away from you... so that you could slowly forget me, or get use to me not being there. But I think I succeeded in another thing other than these 2. I've made you hate me.

For the few days which I have been "missing", I did not reply anybody's smses. Not only yours... But I am surprised at the reaction I get... Ppl get worried about me, wonders if I am alright and is afraid that I might do stupid things to harm myself. At least they are concered if I am alive. But what I got from you are angry comments... you scolded me... you reprimended me... you blame me...

I was devastated...

u said I misinterpret things again and thanks for letting you know... what did I let you know? Unless somebody told you things... and we shouldn't talk or wadsoever anymore if you just bring pain to me... did I ever said that? Did I ever blame you for bringing me pain? Did I ever blame you for hurting me? Never did I complain or blame you for anything that happened... If I did, would I cut myself? Why not cut you? Now we can't even be friends. When did I ever said this too? If I don't want to be your friends, I wouldn't even be in contact after the first time we end things. I wouldn't even go out with you ANYMORE. Good luck with whatever shit you're doing. Should I say thanks...?

This is not even bad compared to the next sms you sent me... My heart shattered upon seeing this...

You can't believe I dare to say I loved you before... Where am I when you needed me... You just needed me to appreciate your efforts... But they are all in vain... WTF sia... Even if I cut my WHOLE body, it is still not enough to atone for this pain... You really can't stand ppl like me... Only know how to talk, feel and do things to hurt people who loves me... You don't mind supporting an empty shell.. As long as you can see me everyday... Can I do something to make you happy once? You don't care if I love you or hate you, you don't give a DAMN... After all the stuffs you've done, as a human, can I just treat you nice? Is it too much to ask? Just treat you FUCKING nice or fake a FUCKING smile, you don't care... I just want to feel good... DO SOMETHING!

I don't know why you don't believe that I loved you before... if you are talking about before, there is love and I am sure I did try my best to help you and be there when you needed me. You don't have the right to say I don't loved you before.

I did appreciate your efforts... but I didn't ask for anything that you have done for me. You did those things trying to win me back... but if I don't give a reaction or a sign telling you I will go back to you, you thought those things that you do are in vain and questioned yourself why are you doing those things. I never ever ask anything from you.

You blame me for the pain... but where does this pain comes from? I don't believe its me... when I was depressed and cut myself and bang my head... you saw all that. But did I ever blame you for the pain...? I give myself those thoughts and problems. I can't see the light when things are all in a mess... and when you can't see the light yourself... you blame me for causing you pain...

This is the best part... you really can't stand people like me... I hardly believe my eyes when I saw this... of all these times together. You have been having this thought on your mind. Can't stand people like me... only know how to talk... feel... do things that hurt people who love me... I never do things delibrately to hurt people. I can cut my whole body to hurt myself... but I would never do things to hurt people...

I thought by going out with you, still being part of you life would make you happy enough. But what you do want and expect out of me? And why do you think I am not treating you nice? How nice do you want me to treat you? What else do you want? What is FUCKING nice? And why does it have to be a FUCKING smile? I am smiling when I am out with you. Do you not see it?

You apologize the next morning... telling me all these things have been stucked inside you for a long time... it didnt help at all... one thing... how can you scold me and apologize later? next thing... these have been stucked inside you for a long time? I guess you could have scolded me much earlier so you don't have to torment yourself...

For a long time... it is like telling me you have been hating me for a long time...

There are so many things that I don't understand. But I don't want to be enlighten... I am sorry for what happen in your family and I did my best to help you from the past until now. I have been giving you advice and guidance. But if things doesn't work out, there is nobody to blame.

I have always wanted to treat you like a friend. But for you to keep wanting more and more out of me, it makes me withdraw away from you. You ask why can't we be like other friends that have fun together. But ask yourself... did you treat me like other friends? Just friends that have fun together?

There are so many things that I wanted to say... and these are not all. I don't even know if you care you listen anymore...

I am still your friend if you considered me one. But one must remember that once something is said, nothing else can be said to change the meaning of it or take it back. Those things said will be a scar remained forever.

2009-01-23T01:02:00.002+08:00

No... nobody deserves to be lonely.

We all need friends.

I am your friend.

and all of you are mine too.

2009-01-21T22:52:00.006+08:00

To my Dearest friend,

I don't know how to help you through this dark time of yours and I even wonder should I offer my help. I don't want things to get any worst and relationships to be even more strained than before. You know however many times you tell me that you won't blame me or think it is my fault for things that happens, I won't accept that. Things start to get worst ever since people start getting to know me. When people move closer, just to help me get better, they themselves got hurt in the process. How can I not feel guilty about it?

If you are not there to help me get through the rough times I had the few days, I would still be that sad and depressing guy you first know. You have no idea how much happiness and comfort you gave me... in fact, I can't lose you as a friend now. But every part of me tells me that I am wrong. No matter how much I said about you being like an angel in my darkest time, you won't think it is anything great. Because this thing that you did is felt wrong by so many people. I don't want any of this to happen... never did I expect these to happen too. I am just so naive and childish to think that at the moment in time, I am the weakest and most vulnerable thus should be concerned and helped. But I guess it is my own selfish act and vulnerabilities that leads to everything that is now.

People are always out to look after me and care for me. In the end, they got themselves hurt and scarred.

I am sorry... everybody.
sorry Nicky...

I prayed for you, something which I never did before, to get better and not suffer anymore. I will still be doing this for you every night till you get better...

You are not the one that deserve to be a loner, without friends and given up on relationships...
I am...

2009-01-18T00:04:00.002+08:00

Now that everything seems clearer and all doubts diminished, Rees is reborn again...

The sky look bluer...
People look happier...
Even the slightest thing make me smile...

It is enough for me now, really.

I have to find a purpose in life... a goal to achieve. So when ever I am lost again, I know how to find my way back to the most important thing in my life.

Rees is back...

2009-01-14T21:20:00.002+08:00

This will be how I spend my day tomorrow...

11.35am - Australia (165mins) GV Plaza
02.45pm - Rachel Getting Married (113mins) The Cathay
04.55pm - Haunting of Molly Hartley (NIL) GV Plaza
OR
05.00pm - Bedtime Story (100mins) The Cathay (most prob)
OR
05.30pm - Eden Lake (91mins) The Cathay (most prob)

anybody wanna join me...

2009-01-14T20:16:00.002+08:00

The art of the devil on my arm is more obvious today... when the lines darken with blood covering them. Throughout my whole day... I was hiding them under my sleeves and they somehow screamed to be noticed...

My head hurts from the bang on the wall when I desperately needed relieve from the talk with you... Everything is spinning from that moment on, even till now...

The day was a rather dreadful one.

I isolated myself from all those who seems to care. But when I take a closer look, I don't really know... I guess I wanted too much attention but that won't happen when people have happier things to face. I just don't wanna be left alone, but I am making that happen... The more I am with people, the lonelier I get. But when I am alone, there are things which I can't control myself from not doing... it's scary...

I ran with friends during their NAPFA test... and it did not take my mind off anything. I made myself very tired, very giddy and very weak... But I didn't wanna care about my body. The more stress or pressure I gave to it, the better it will be, cause' I am waiting for the day I finally collapsed...

I have lost a lot of my appetite... been eating lesser lately. Everything that I put into my mouth now, feels weird. I even feel like vomiting after every time I ate anything... I don't know what to do.

Just now, when I was taking my bath, I was reminded of the pain when water ran past my wounds. They are like the blades I used, just more gentle, slicing through. When staring at my naked body, the wounds are even more obvious due to my white body. They seems to glow...

I am shutting myself off from people... and it will be really soon I am going to really fall apart.

I lost my heart, my soul and my body... and if I have the courage, I would be gone.

2009-01-13T20:19:00.003+08:00

Dear Blog,

I cut myself again... I couldn't take myself anymore. The pain is not sharp... just burning. I love the sight of blood seeping through the small holes where the indent are made. It got me excited and send me laughing. I am sick... I am crazy...

This feeling of agony... it is tormenting. I am tired, too tired to be sane.

I laugh
I cry
I scold myself
I hit myself
I stumble
I scream
and I plead for help...

No, I am not alright. I cannot make myself think the right way anymore. Nothing is optimistic, everything is bad. I am thinking too much, so much that

I can't hear myself...
I can't see the light...
I can't feel myself...
I can't understand the truth...
I can't live...

I vomited yesterday and the feeling was horrible. My whole body was shaking, weak and helpless. Wish someone could give me a hug... but there was no one around.

Everything will come to an end today... and I will live like an empty shell from now. I won't believe in myself anymore... there's no hope... no hope.

2009-01-11T00:20:00.002+08:00

I feel like apologizing for everything,
even for those that I have not done wrong...

and I wanna thank all my friends who try to help,
thanks for trying to lighten my loads when I am crumbling...

sorry for everything that I have done/not done.
thanks for everything that you all have done/not done.

2009-01-07T20:54:00.001+08:00

Nobody can make you feel the way you don't allow yourself to feel.
But they do play a part in affecting how you will feel.

Rees

2009-01-05T17:56:00.003+08:00

now i dunno wad to do with you...

if you're trying to make me jealous, i guess u succeeded in doing so...

but at the same time, u have succeeded in bringing up another kind of emotion.

hatred?
disappointment?
despair?

waiting... for? what exactly are u waiting for?

i might as well just tell you the truth here...

i want to get back together with you... dont even care if u are the IDEAL partner. Because it doesn't matters anymore. I am nothing without you and my life have been terrible since I lost that title of "Your Boyfriend". I tried holding on to other things. My friends and games and everything else. I even try to get to know other people... but nothing came close to you...

call me helpless and hopeless and desperate... but I am feeling so lost without you. Calling you a "Best Friend" just sound so fake and cliche. That's not us...

I dont know what will happen when you read this but at least you will read it... I know there are too many things for us to overcome if we're to get together again and I am afraid too. I won't gurantee there wont be any conflict again. I know there are some really impossible factors...

So whatever the outcome will be, I will stand by it...

because I know I am a lousy boyfriend... someone not worth getting back to...

2009-01-04T18:28:00.002+08:00

by reading what u have posted...

seems like u're finding a way back to him again? (or maybe trying to.. or even wanting to..)

hmm.. i can't help but get jealous or... whatever.

i guess its none of my business.

probably should try and move on with my life?

but i don't want to...

2009-01-01T17:45:00.009+08:00

well, 2009 is here... and here i am feeling all drained and tired. i welcome this new year by staying at home, staring at the tv and feeling hopeless and helpless all the time. i have a strong feeling that this would be a very lousy year, for me at least...

when life starts to get stale and one feel restless for everything..
he won't know what will get him started again..
not something that he don't enjoy previously.. definitely..
and maybe things that he did enjoy before doesn't have the same effect anymore..
at this point of time..
he can only rot with time... until...
he
i dont wanna live my life like this
i hate myself for being who i am
i want something more in my life
but i dunno what is it that i want
somebody help me
please...

2009-01-01T17:43:00.004+08:00

i don't get it..
things are not what it seems to be..
i wonder what do i really wants..
guess i just want somebody..
yet i want to be alone..
contradicting?
not really.....
just being stupid..
just being irritating..
just being rees..

2008-12-29T01:29:00.003+08:00

when life does something that is this horrible,
there are no rules as to how to get over it...
one just have to do what ever he can, anything he can to make it better...

2008-12-24T04:00:00.002+08:00

but while others cloaked themselves in sinister and gave in to empathy,
we must be unafraid to hope...
hope is the simplest of words,
but the hardest thing to have....

疯子

2008-12-23T02:35:00.001+08:00

刷牙我想哭洗脸我想哭
走路我想哭静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭起风我想哭
听歌我想哭看喜剧我想哭
我控制不住自己负担冭重的情绪
我拒绝面对结局沉重的问题我不想听
伱给的很多规矩说了很久的道理
却瞒不了我的伈
再压抑再压抑我快不行..
(兲摇地动昏天暗地)
有眼泪没眼泪
伱觉得我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣听不见伱们说的
我疯言我疯语眼泪让我瞎了
我哭我眼前丗界
原来快楽要用悲伤换的
可知不知道
伱莂在否认
我要的自由能不能够永生
可是我累了
我只好哭了
我像疯子的般不停的哭
我没有出路
伱也当我是个疯子我是个疯子

2008-12-22T04:50:00.002+08:00

Didn't thought it will be over like this...
You became far...
I am startled by the sudden rush of emotions...
Nothing will ever be the same...
Gone forever...

i am sorry... i guess i never did ever blame myself for all the problems that arise... but instead throw everything to you... it must have been a heavy burden... with other things you have along the way...

no use saying much now... u have broken down... so have i...

2008-12-16T21:18:00.003+08:00

Seriously... I hate studying... =="

anyway, I have been watching a new drama lately... and I AM LOVING IT!! Oh my god...

Brothers & Sisters

This show is AWESOME!! I don't know why... but it touches me in every single way. I could cry every other episodes. The story is so real (as in original) and all American. Makes me wanna be there in America. LOL! Upon watching it, it makes me feel lonely... hahaha... I was hoping I had a family like theirs... One so crazy and yet so loving. Everything they do are for each other... sigh.

*I am so gonna leave Singapore one day... to go search afar... to find a place which I really belongs.

2008-12-13T22:04:00.003+08:00

Do you remember the last time we got differences knocking on our doors?

It is not too long ago... where both of us cried in frustration and anger and disappointment and sadness...

i was hoping that will be the last time we ever need to be like that...

Obviously, it is not the case. We had too much differences as far as you are concern. You can bring something up, making me feel all terrible and let go of it the very next moment... questioning about why am I making a fuss out of it. Offering your help when you don't even want me to help you out with the problem you brought up. And the way you say it makes me feel like you are the great one, to be able and want to help me through everything. Where in my case, I will let you go whenever you don't want my help. It is like saying you will not leave me and not care about me while I will let you to die...

i hate to quarrel and feel sad and angry and disappointed and frustrated and depressed all at once... but i had this not once, not twice but so many times...

Once or twice, a person can let it go... continue living, being happy... but the more these problems come swarming into our lives, the more difficult it is to let myself let go. Not that I want to hold on the these grudges, but I can't help but feel really really dejected these things keep happening...

you ask me how long I want this to goes on... what can you do to help me... I got no answer for you... because the moment I let this goes, another problem would probably arise the very next week... or even the next few days...

I hate to have this feelings every now and then... shouldn't happiness be the only thing that should happens or matters in a relationship? I felt it before... but probably like you said, "2 different worlds nearing each others and destorying each other via each other's gravity."

We are destroying each other right now...

2008-12-13T17:44:00.004+08:00

I am actually feeling... I don't exactly knows what I am feeling right now.

This emotion which I never had felt for so long that I wonder if I ever had this feeling before. I don't think I like this feeling at all... not one that I can say that I will get use to... not this feeling.

Everything seems colder than ever. My house with nobody in it. My body without a soul. My heart that lost its need... and you.

I guess I am really sad to know that I won't be the reason for you to want to stay... but instead wanted to leave even more... now I know I can't even be compared to your music.

Yea... I am an ignorant bastard who don't know what is happening around me. I am just too self-centered to notice anything. A person that you can't possibly share anything with. A person that is totally useless in your life... I don't think I can even be compared to your friends. People whom you will be totally happy with... nothing to think about, nothing to be stressed about, nothing to be embarrass about, nothing to be scare about and most importantly, nothing to be ashamed or having the need to hide.

so if I died one day without leaving any trace... will you know why I die?

"Once the well is dried up, no matter how good your rope or your bucket is, you won' t be able to draw any water up. You'll have to either
1. Wait for the next raining season (longer) or
2. Fill it up yourself so that you can use it whenever you want to..."

and 3. Give up any hope that the well will ever have any water and look for another source...

*i am really trying my best in this relationship... and I can't give you any more love that I am already giving... you won't tell me what to do... and I am at my wits' end...

*i am really tired too... of you keep bringing up problems which I never thought existed... and if you can't see through all these problems you have with the relationship or me or even yourself, I really don't think you will ever be happy...

Meet the Robinsons

2008-12-12T22:36:00.010+08:00

Around here, however, we don't
look backwards for very long.

We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and
doing new things, because we're curious...
And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

Walt Disney

Awww... I just watched Meet The Robinsons and I am loving it. The story is really nice... with this sayings at the end, it makes the whole movie very meaningful. The song at the end of the show is well... emotional. I happen to come across this song earlier before watching this movie and has some "not so nice" experience with it. But now that I watched the show and listen to the song at the same time, I couldn't help but have tears welling up my eyes. Wonders why I got so emotional... but it is in a good way.

*you can find the song on my playlist, Rob Thomas - Little Wonders

Little Wonders

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

CBOX Upgrade

2008-12-12T18:08:00.002+08:00

People, I have upgraded my CBOX to premium... ==" It is for fun la... lol

now you all can registered ur name in my CBOX...

1. Type in ur name in the name box
2. Press the profile button on the bottom right of the box
3. It will prompt u to register
4. Input ur password
5. Ta-Daa! Ur name is protected on my CBOX! Nobody else can imitate ur name!!

Lol.. if u're registered user, ur name also have a different colour... cool huh? =="

New skin

2008-12-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

Heh heh... Kinda long before I last post. Gotten lazy... lazier! =X

Well, I have gotten a nice blogskin as all can see... and obviously Rees is not so talented to the extent to make this himself. LOL! XD I got this from Blogskins.com and I really love it. Can't really be bothered to do a whole new skin myself. **LAZY**

Anyway, hopefully, the new skin will make me wanna blog more... and yes, this blog can be view in FireFox now. (People, stop complaining that it is troublesome to view my blog kies! [the main reason is cause Rees is using FireFox now too... =X] )

Hmmm... study... not! I know, I know... Common Test is next thursday, which can come sooner than I thought. I tried to study already can? Lol... Previous time is super last minute one! I try to start la... AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

*Yawn... tired + lazy + sleepy = Rees =3

...

2008-11-26T17:22:00.002+08:00

I am tired...
so tired that I can't think,
can't breathe,
can't sleep...

I felt loneliness this few days...
so lonely that my shadow starts talking to me,
my soul abandons me,
my body bleeds...

I thought things have changed...
so different that I don't recognize anything,
your kind messages without the warmth before,
my heartless slience with the scary coldness...

I brought this upon to myself...
so irritated that I thought I should die,
then none of these will happen,
then you will be happier...

the time when i couldn't reach you through the phone was the time i lost myself... i couldn't find something which i can hold on to... i am hopeless without you...

2008-11-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

I don't know...

Am I stressing you too much?
Am I doing things that stress you up?
Am I wrong in all the ways I have been?

I don't know what should I do.

You always sound so deep.
Everything on the surface is not what it seems.
Theres a hidden meaning behind everything.

I can't think of what to do.

You turn to your blog when ever something happens.
And the way you put it makes me feel so bad about myself.
It is like I am the source of all your trouble...

Please tell me what to do... ...

Tourist

2008-11-15T22:26:00.010+08:00

Tourist for the day!

Hahaha~ today had a really long and fun (but quite tired) day! Slept around 4 yesterday night and woke up before 12 today. Then went out with parents and aunt to Tajong Paga Market to have our lunch. Aunt suggested the place as she said there are lots of food choice over there and the foods are cheap and taste good. Indeed, the place has lots of choices and all of them look good... in the end, I ate Yong Tau Foo... which is quite cheap for the amount of stuff I chose and it taste really really good! I especially love the chilli sauce! ^^

After our lunch, we make our way to Chinatown... through which we pass through a lot of shop houses and mini shops. There are actually some interesting stores around which I have no idea they ever existed! Hahaha... when we reached Chinatown, we walk around somemore and then ate some dessert on the way. I had this mango dessert with lots of mango and mango juice as well as some pomelo bits and sago ball. Hahaha~ interesting thing which taste great as well!

Then, we walk to Amoy Street... there are lots of pubs and shops around there as well and also the famous Tian Hock Keng Temple. Often see and heard of this temple from people but never did I went in there before. Today was the first time inside... and the place is quite beautifully kept. Very serene and simple...

The famous Tian Hock Keng Temple... I thought that all the religious structures are really beautifully crafted...

We then walk towards city hall... and on our way there, we came across another temple which is over a hundred years old~ The structure is really beautiful! The sculptures in the wall and the plliar and columns inside the temple are really really beautiful... I am amazed by the artful work!

The beautiful temple... front door. (Look at the top of the roof, there are miniature sculptures on top which are really exquisite!)

Another front view of the temple with my Dad and Mum on the Right...

The courtyard of the temple... those spirals things are incense...

Here is an attempt to take a antique (artistic) photo of the temple... lol~ what do you think?

I would love to take photos of the inside of the temple but it is not allowed... T.T

Upon reaching the Singapore River, we walk through The Fullerton Hotel to reach the Merlion... I must say... the hotel is dashing! Simply beautiful...

Somewhere inside The Fullerton Hotel...

We then walk from the Merlion to The Esplanade via the long pathway along the highway. Along the way, I heard so many different languages and was really thrilled by the sight. People are taking photos at the side of the pathway... and everybody is doing the same thing. But they are speaking in different tongues! I am really interested in the different languages around the world...

We then go all the way to Suntec Convention Center to the International Book Fair organized by Popular Bookstore. There are LOADS of people there! ==" Well, the things are indeed cheaper... but the queues are terrible! We just walk around for abit and went down to another exhibition... The Food Safari and The Home Electronic Fair. There are more people here then the book fair (I guess Singaporean love foods more than anything else... maybe sales? =X). I then bought a medium size Peach Yami Yogurt and a banana Muffin~ Both are really nice. Then I bought a Green Papaya Salad from a thai booth.

After leaving that place, we decided to have dinner already. At first, we thought of going back to Toa Payoh for hawker foods. But in the end, we went to Cafe Cartel at Raffles City! Wahahaha~ I ate the Southern Cripsy Chicken Cutlet with BBQ Sauce... taste so nice! But the portion become much smaller... we then sat and eat and talk for a while before leaving to Raffles City to walk again!

Only after that did we make our way back to Bishan Junction 8. There, my parents went to the NTUC and did some shopping. Then we walk back home from there...

OH MY GOD!! My legs are like super tired now!! But well, I had a really fun day... I felt like a tourist! LOL!

Rees loves this kind of life, where he gets to eat a lot of nice stuff and buy a lot of nice stuff as well... but he knows that it is not possible to get this kind of life now when he is not earning money! So he thought that he is quite satisfied with what he has now, eating something good once in a while, buying things once in a while... but being together is more important now..... ^^

The Coffin

2008-11-12T18:48:00.004+08:00

The Coffin

or The Coughing...? =="

Oh well, the movie is quite disappointing.. Not as exciting as what the trailer shows. I must say I got bored some place in the movie. The scary part is not scary at all... everything is predictable and the gore is not gore-y enough. The plot is... okay. ==" nothing interesting lah. Quite a waste of money and time if you ask me. Not satisfied at all and would not recommend people to watch it.

Also, throughout the show... there is this bunch of F**KING noisy brats in front. If I couldn't contain my anger then... I would have shouted at them. People are trying to watch the show but there they are making noises. They are not even watching the movie! Just talking among themselves and shriek once in a while at scenes from the movie. Bloody irritating kids... their parents should be ashamed of how they are acting and should thought if they did their part as parents educating them. Lousy parents, lousy kids...

Rees hates noisy ill-mannered kids...

Critics everywhere...

2008-11-09T23:05:00.005+08:00

Critics everywhere...

There was a time when a father and a son travel together with their horse from their village to another. The father is on the horse while his son walks by them. Then came a corcern passer-by...

"Poor kid! How could you have let your son walks while you have the luxury of sitting on the horse!?"

So the father came down and let his son ride on the horse. After some distance, another person walks by...

"Dude! How unfillial you are to let your old man walk while you ride comfortably!?"

And so the father got up the horse again, now both of them riding on the horse. This time round, a group of people walk by and started talking loudly...

"Oh my... they are being so cruel to the animal! Poor horse! It has to carry two grown man all by himself! Shame on them!"

Upon hearing all that, both the father and son got down and walk by the horse. Finally, they reached their destination. But to their dismay, the villagers laugh at them...

"How stupid are the two of you!? HAHAHAHA!! You have a horse but you chose to walk by it instead of riding it! HAHAHAHA!! Fools!!"

==" ......... =="

The point here is... no matter what you do, there are bound to have people critising and commenting. One can never please everybody while still do things the way he/she wants to do! I would say, just be who you really are and be happy about it... no use pleasing everyone and be sad yourself in the end. BUT!! There are times which we cannot control... so just do the thing you think is RIGHT!!

and I know I am doing the right thing now...

This time round... I am serious

2008-11-09T18:22:00.001+08:00

This time round... I am serious

I can feel your halo...
I can see them too...
You're my angel...
Pray that halo won't disappear...

Forbidden Love

2008-11-08T22:12:00.002+08:00

I guess when everything sweet and nice are over, the reality sinks in... We dive into what we had now without thinking of the possible danger and obstacles we will be facing... or at least I didn't thought about it. It is not as easy as everyone else. It is not the same with everybody else. It will be different from all the others... and because of this, we are forbidden to do what we want. We can't celebrate what we have openly. We can't tell our parents of our happiness. We can't share our joy with everybody. Because there are bound to be haters... and at where we are now, the situation is not to our privilege. We have something sacred yet fragile... something which can be broken so easily. I am not confident as to how far we can go... because I wanted so much more. I hate to pretend. I detest vulnerability. I loath myself. YET, I am a pretender... I am vulnerable... I am still me...

Call me mature.. or say I have low self-esteem... Either way, I don't have confidence... I want to be strong and uphold what we have. But please tell me what to do... I need the strength to carry on something so hard and opposed. I have and feel ur love... so i guess it is just me that need to change. I need time to get use to this...

and maybe I will be the best actor then...

I am sorry for being like this...

Hui Hui Jia You!!

2008-11-06T22:23:00.002+08:00

Specially for Hui Hui...

HUI HUI!! XD This post is made specially for you oh!! You have to jia you for tomorrow de presentation okay!? All of us will be rooting for you!! You will be fabulous!! Don't worry~ ^^ Great job in making this far!! We are all proud of you!! *Thumbs up*

(For those who don't know what this presentation is about, it is the NHG Annual Scientific Congress 2008. Our beloved Hui Hui will be presenting on their project... ONLY her, out of the whole class, will be presenting her project oh!! PRO!!)

As for Lai Yee, be nice kies? Theres a role for "hua ping" also... =X that is to be beautiful~ LOL

Jia you (chinese)!! Ganbatte (japanese)!! Huai tin (korean)!! All the best (english)!!

Sick

2008-11-03T19:45:00.002+08:00

K c iS - Si c K

oh well.. the title speak for me.. ==" ahhhh~ not feeling really great at all!!

It all begins yesterday. Started to sneeze alot, then my nose becomes a faulty tap.. Cough starts to come, and then it finally struck me... FEVER!! T.T

Don't know why but I am not like my normal sick Rees. As in I use to just lie down everywhere I go, and feel very very terrible. But this time round, altough I am really very sick... I still manage to feel alright. Hmmm... weird.

Anyway, I went to Toa Payoh Polyclinic today with his company. The whole process after registering, consult the doctor and finally collect my medicine takes around 1hr in the afternoon. Oh well, not exactly the way I want to spend my day but I do get to pay lesser. ==" It is $14.40... Like increase quite a lot since I last been to a polyclinic (probably 8yrs ago? Lol XD). I never did like polyclinic, but in order to not spend so much, ya, I have to go to one.

I ask about my sudden giddyness and heart pain... and the doc just says that everything is alright~~ ==" thats the problem with government doctor. Everything is alright to them...

I am feeling better now.. just that the drug is still having effect on me... making me drowsy and blur.. hahahaha~ alright~ shall end off here.

Thanks for your company.. don't know what I will do if I am waiting all alone.. =="

Sleepy

2008-10-29T13:46:00.002+08:00

I am in school now...

A tutorial session...

Rees is very tired...

He is falling asleep now...

Good AfterNight! ^^

MUACK

2008-10-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

23rd October 2008

Start of Something New...

Thanks

2008-10-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

i guess i am only good at making you revisit your past...

sorry...

Rees is beng

2008-10-22T20:42:00.014+08:00

FYP + Star Gazing

Heee... been sometimes since I last blog again. Don't have the "feel" to do it. =X

I will make a simple blog this time also... lazy la~ ^^.v

I shall post photos so as to save me from saying too much.. LOL

These photos are taken during our FYP presentation, oh well... everybody look so smart and pretty. And glad that this is finally over...

The fantastic 4 from NUS ORI lab~ hahahaha... I really love this photo... (I look taller than usual in this photo. LOL XD)

This is the group photo of BLT 18~ Sadly, we are missing Ning Xing from it...

This is taken during the star gazing event later on at night after the FYP presentation. Rees seriously look beng.... and don't worry hui hui (lady in pink behind me), doesnt look like u're eating my tofu la. HAHAHA

Get wad i mean by beng? omg...

Group photo of all those who are present at the event... some of BLT 18 and some of BLT 19...

Then it is all random pictures~ look at my face... omg =="

Everybody is tired at that point of time... Rees is.

I directed this photoshoot by asking everyone to look into the light and pointing at it... but I myself is being blocked.. T.T BUT the main point is to look at Christle... The prideful lady on the extreme right. She can really go become model for the Singapore defend force or something! LOL! XD

And this is the best shot of the day! I love this photo sooooo much!! Guan Hao is pro... I purposely walk slower so I look clearer than the others.. LOL! Anyway, my outfit and whole person look so beng throughout the day la....

I look beng wearing formal wear. Guan Hao even commented that I look like Japanese gangster~ Then at night when I wear the casual outfit... I thot I look beng also. OH MY GAWD!! ==" save me.... LOL

Rees love his classmates...

And ya... wanna thank you for bringing me herbal tea and sweets during my preparation for the presentation... ya, you la... LOL ^^ Kinda late to mention this cuz it is last Friday.. but well, never too late to appreciate what you have done! ^^

Start of something old

2008-10-12T18:52:00.002+08:00

Time for SCHOOL!

Oh no... and here I go again! It is time to go back to normal ciriculum! Eeeeee~ you know, it sucks to be waking up early in the morning and sitting in lecture room and fell asleep due to boredom. XD Oh well, we will be back in NUH labs again and seriously... i am not looking forward to it at all. Our life will be "oh so boring" again...

Another thing... I will be having my FYP presentation this friday. GAAAHHH!! Seriously... if anybody can tell me they are not nervous ah, I will kill that person. Lol. This is big lor... really hope everything will turn out fine. Gonna go through my script tonight... and practise with Christle tomorrow. I think it will be funny at first, but when the time is nearer, things will get serious. Ganbatte ne!

One last thing... I came to know this really wonderful friend. He is funny, cute and really nice to be with. Especially he knows how to make me laugh. Don't wanna say any more of his good points la... later he gets too proud and fly away. LOL! XD Anyway, he accompany me to buy liquid foundation on last Friday. Nothing is wrong for a guy to buy some make up and wanna look good when he have to right!? Roar!! But still thank him for accompanying me there la... lol

*it has been nice knowing u... ^^ but u dont have to write on ur blog to tell ppl i dunno pasir ris is next to expo la!! Roar... =X i said it myself here... =="

Love of Siam

2008-09-30T13:58:00.006+08:00

Love of Siam

Watch this movie yesterday. Love of Siam. It is a Thai movie... and what a nice movie it is. It is a teen romance story. Easy going and the flow is really nice. The movie is 2hr50mins long. ==" Although it is that long, I didn't get bored along the way or lost in the story. It is quite sad at some point of time... Don't really wanna talk much about the story here... but you can find out more about it through the internet or if you wanna watch it, you know where to find me. LOL! XD

They have some really cute actors and actresses in there..